#4 - Our Four Days in the Hawaiian Islands

When in Rome, do as the Romans do.  My philosophy has always been to experience the local customs as much as possible.  After all, that’s why we are spending 3 months in New Zealand to really get to know what it is like to live there.

But getting there is half the fun and fully experiencing our four days in the Hawaiian Islands is a must.  So the first thing we did when we got to Honolulu on Monday was look for a Walmart.   It’s not that we were thinking that visiting a Walmart here would be a unique cultural experience.  It’s because my electric toothbrush quit working while we were at sea for 6 days and I needed a replacement.  So off to Walmart we trotted on foot.  Along the way we meandered through China Town and found a Chinese restaurant rated all 5’s by Yelp.  So we went in expecting a fabulous menu.

The menu had two sides.  All the noodle dishes were on one side.  And on the other side were all the noodle dishes.  The explanations were all in Chinese but even we could figure out that every item on the menu was noodles with something.  Or something with noodles.  Our first clue should have been that the name of this restaurant was “The Noodle House”.  

But sometimes we are slow to catch on.  Not being in the mood for noodles with a side of noodles, we quietly got up and left before the waiter or manager could shame us into staying.  

We enjoyed a nice walk around Honolulu before returning to the ship with my new toothbrush.

Our second port on Tuesday was on the island of Kauai - the Garden Island.  We’ve both been here before so decided that rather than taking a tour, we would walk leisurely around town on our own.  As soon as we got off the ship, we saw a shuttle bus that went non-stop to Walmart.  So we decided to hop on, not because we thought THIS Walmart would be a different cultural experience, but because I found out that the toothbrush I bought yesterday in Honolulu was defective, and I needed to exchange it.  So off to Walmart we went, only to realize that I forgot to bring the receipt,  and so they would not exchange it.   So, needing a toothbrush I decided to buy a different brand.  Surely this one will work.

We were looking forward to our third port on Wednesday in Lanaii.  This is a tender port as the ship is too large to pull up to a pier.  They lowered the platform and brought the tender boats around, but before anyone could get off the ship, Captain Tim made an announcement that the water was too rough and therefore unsafe for us to board the tenders.  This was thanks to a depression in the Aleutian Islands that has been causing us to experience large swells of up to 10 feet.  So our visit to Lanaii had to be cancelled.  Isn’t that just swell.  

But the staff onboard did an amazing job of finding things to entertain us during this unexpected day at sea.  The Captain did a drive by (more accurately a sail by) of Molokai, an island that in former days was a quarantined area for people with leprosy.  Father Damian dedicated 16 years of his life to taking care of the lepers until he also contracted leprosy.  And died.  

He was originally buried in 1889 at the colony on Molokai, as he requested.  But his remains were transferred back to his hometown in Belgium in 1936.  His right hand was returned to his original grave in 1995. 

I tried really hard not to think about the song I remember from my childhood, and I’m quite sure it is not politically correct to be writing about it, but here’s how I remember it.  To the tune of “Jealousy”...

“Leprosy... it’s crawling all over me.  There goes my eyeball... right into my highball.  Kiss me quick... there goes my upper lip......”.  I’m sorry.   I’ll stop there.  Father Damien would not approve.  

Our fourth port was Kona on the big island of Hawaii, another tender port, but this time we had a successful disembarkation.  We were thinking about going over to the other side of the island to see the effects of the recent massive eruption of Mount Kilauea that spewed hot lava for over 3 months, changing the topography of the island.  But it is too far away for a day trip, so instead we went to Walmart.  

I know, you’re thinking, “What’s wrong with these people?  They go on this great cruise to these amazing destinations and all they do is go to Walmart?”.   Well, you must realize that I go to a dentist who will reprimand me if my oral hygiene is less than stellar.  And who wants to suffer that wrath.  So I needed to return that defective electric toothbrush so that we don’t have to visit a Walmart in our next port.

But before departing Kona we did something really special.  I will be able to add a chapter to my book (the one I keep talking about writing someday) about how massages differ around the world.  So getting a massage is actually “research” for the book.  Details to follow in my next blog.